certified cringe

the cringenoodle

This is a bowl of noodles. It is extremely cringe. It knows. It does not care.

The cringenoodle was first observed doing the most in a bowl it had no business doing. Slurped with abandon. Served with zero irony. It is not sorry.

Scientists have attempted to define the exact amount of cringe per noodle. The noodle has declined to be measured. Peer review is stillpending and the peer reviewers are hungry.

Is it a food blog? No. Is it art? Also no. It is a bowl, and the bowl is enough.

ingredients

Noodles. Water. Heat. Confidence that cannot be explained by the recipe.

preparation

Boil until cringe is fully released. Do not skim. The cringe is the point.

reviews

“please stop” — everyone who has seen it. Five stars.